Let’s talk honestly¬†

Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing well, sorry I haven’t blogged in a few weeks but I’ve been having the worst 3 weeks I’ve had in ages. 

Sadly like all chronic conditions you have some of the worst up and downs imaginable, so the past three weeks for me has been a hospital visit multiple partial dislocations and a lot of pain…along with many codeine highs, many mental break downs and a self esteem level of about 1%.

I realise my last 2 blogs have been a bit depressing however I feel like it is my place to explain this side of these conditions as well, if I want to educate people about these invisible illnesses then you need to know the bad sides as well. 

I realise that I am lucky that I do still get to experience the up days as well as the bad, however I have always been the person that puts other people before myself and I am very stubborn, unwilling to accept that I do need help and I can’t do everything on my own like I should be able to at the age of 20. 

When you end up partially dislocating 4 different body parts a day and have chronic depression and anxiety it means you find it incredibly hard to get out of bed every day and also to keep up relationships with people. I will be forever great full for the people that have truly stuck by me during all of this, even if I do have to bail on plans because I need to sleep or because I physically cannot move. 

You really learn during all of this the people that genuinely care about you and the the people that are not bothered at all and will just as easily drop you as they picked you up to begin with. If I didn’t have Ross and my friends frankie, Matt and Leanne I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. 

I know I am stubborn and can be hard work (I feel this especially applies to Ross) as I do not want him to have to do anything for me or for him to worry about me but I really appreciate every little thing anyone does for me, even if it is just to ask me how I am from time to time. 

I am going to try my hardest to write a few blog post over the next week and have them scheduled so I that I won’t have to miss any due to being sick or just not having the energy. I would like to say thank you to everyone that continues to read these and to everyone that will understand where I am coming from. 

I am going to sign off now as I’ve taken my sleeping tablets and am half asleep…can I also just say I a, 150 views off of 1000 across all my posts, you guys are the best I love you all for the support and love this is getting!!!

Signing off, 

Scarlett x

The ugly truth 

Hi everyone,
Sorry this blog is late I will explain why down below. I am trying to keep these blogs as upbeat as possible to show that even with all of these conditions you can still enjoy life and the things you love doing. 

However this blog is going to show some of the worst symptoms that I endure and why it is hard to always make light of it. So as part of these conditions I have problems with my stomach as well, so I can’t eat certain foods without becoming really poorly. I ended up having to go to hospital on Friday night due to something to do with my stomach (I won’t go into the gory details as they are not really necessary) anyway I ended up having to call 111 for advice and then had to go to the hospital to get checked out. 

As per usual they couldn’t find anything wrong upon initial investigation this tends to be what always happens with GP’s and hospitals (all three of my conditions took 11 years to fully diagnose) so I got passed the codeine and told to monitor my symptoms. Low and behold they are still happening and I still feel bloody awful. 

When you are given really heavy painkillers it basically means that you are then out for the count for a few days whilst your body adjusts to them, the worst part is the side effects that come with these medications. For example the codeine that I am taking is really strong and as a result I slept all weekend and was so tired and delirious that I kept crying because I was so frustrated with my own body! 

I am now having the worst pain flare up that I have had in a while so I am spending my days taking tramadol and wearing heat packs at every moment I can, however tramadol gives me the worst shakes and makes me feel like I am not even in the room. This would be enough to stop most people from going to work all week, however I now find that because I am in a job that I love I would rather be at work with all of my supportive colleagues than on my own at home. 

Sitting at home all day in pain on your own actually makes things worse for me, like I will sit at home and most of the time would sit and cry because it is way to much to try and handle on your own. That is why I am so thankful to my mum, sister and Ross they are always there for me whenever I need them even if it is just to have a rant about how awful I feel. It’s not an easy thing for them to deal with either as there is no way that anyone can physically help me as it won’t ever be cured but just knowing that I have their support helps me loads. 

I also want my blogs to become a support network if they can, to make sure that everyone knows that you are not alone in your battles, be in physical or mental health. If anyone ever needs a shoulder to lean on I will always be prepared to be there for them. 

I am going to sign off here and I promise Saturdays blog will be a lot more up beat and happy! I just needed to get that off of my chest, and also wanted to say a big thanks to my mum, my sister Bethany and Ross for being the best support network I have!

Signing off for now,

Scarlett x