Let’s talk honestly¬†

Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing well, sorry I haven’t blogged in a few weeks but I’ve been having the worst 3 weeks I’ve had in ages. 

Sadly like all chronic conditions you have some of the worst up and downs imaginable, so the past three weeks for me has been a hospital visit multiple partial dislocations and a lot of pain…along with many codeine highs, many mental break downs and a self esteem level of about 1%.

I realise my last 2 blogs have been a bit depressing however I feel like it is my place to explain this side of these conditions as well, if I want to educate people about these invisible illnesses then you need to know the bad sides as well. 

I realise that I am lucky that I do still get to experience the up days as well as the bad, however I have always been the person that puts other people before myself and I am very stubborn, unwilling to accept that I do need help and I can’t do everything on my own like I should be able to at the age of 20. 

When you end up partially dislocating 4 different body parts a day and have chronic depression and anxiety it means you find it incredibly hard to get out of bed every day and also to keep up relationships with people. I will be forever great full for the people that have truly stuck by me during all of this, even if I do have to bail on plans because I need to sleep or because I physically cannot move. 

You really learn during all of this the people that genuinely care about you and the the people that are not bothered at all and will just as easily drop you as they picked you up to begin with. If I didn’t have Ross and my friends frankie, Matt and Leanne I wouldn’t be the person that I am today. 

I know I am stubborn and can be hard work (I feel this especially applies to Ross) as I do not want him to have to do anything for me or for him to worry about me but I really appreciate every little thing anyone does for me, even if it is just to ask me how I am from time to time. 

I am going to try my hardest to write a few blog post over the next week and have them scheduled so I that I won’t have to miss any due to being sick or just not having the energy. I would like to say thank you to everyone that continues to read these and to everyone that will understand where I am coming from. 

I am going to sign off now as I’ve taken my sleeping tablets and am half asleep…can I also just say I a, 150 views off of 1000 across all my posts, you guys are the best I love you all for the support and love this is getting!!!

Signing off, 

Scarlett x

Invisible illness VS the general public

Hi Everyone, 
Hope you are doing well, I would like to start this blog by thanking everyone that has read my blog and has supported me so far. I have never really been one to talk about all of my health conditions publicly, I have always been seen as the person that is strong for everyone else and will put my problems behind me to help others. 

So far this has really been helping me towards releasing my emotions instead of bottling them up and then having my weekly Sunday night break down. Today’s blog post is about the wonders of the general public when it comes to invisible illnesses and disabilities (again I am not stereotyping all people just sharing my experiences). 

There have been many times in the past few months where people have managed to shock me beyond words. The first of which was when I had popped into town with Ross for a little while, and because I have a blue badge I am entitled to park in a disabled bay. However one lady clearly thought otherwise, as I got out of my car I had noticed her in my main mirror, she had purposely stopped behind my car to glare at me through her window. I turned to Ross and said have you noticed that lady, I thought it was quite rude to be completely honest, then what she did next made it 10x worse…as me and Ross went to walk past her car she rolled down her window and started to shake her head at me and tut. 

I am completely one for not prejudging people as I know what it feels like to be prejudged by everyone that looks at me, I used to hear people muttering under their breath about me using crutches to walk. Many people have said it was an attention seeking thing, in fact when I was in secondary school I used to get called a liar everyday when I would be taking my nurofen like they were sweets. 

I had another instance when I went to look at beds on Saturday (something I have now realised is not a 5 minute thing for someone with mobility problems…the memory foam ones literally eat me…it would take me an hour to get out of bed to get to work). So anyway, this man in the bed shop was showing me a lovely electronic mattress lifting bed with storage underneath (loved it but way above my price point) So he then went on to say that you can get the beds that you manually lift up, I looked at my friend and just said yeah that wouldn’t be any good for me (I’ve been told I shouldn’t even be lifting a full kettle of water let alone a double/king size mattress on my own). Now he would just not stop telling me that I would cope with it, this left me having to explain myself to a random stranger who did not need to know about my personal life. I recently came across a post on social media in which someone had written a really unkind note and placed it on a car windscreen, she had prejudged someone for using a blue badge and had assumed that she was using someone else’s blue badge because she “looked” perfectly healthy. 

The above types of things go along with the types of things that you should not say to a pregnant lady, it is really important that you think before you speak, for someone like me who struggles with anxiety as well as all of my other conditions my self esteem is very low. Something that you say to someone could cause lasting damage, you may think it’s a laugh or a joke at the time like I will nine out of ten times laugh off a rude or ignorant comment if it is said to my face…this doesn’t mean it doesn’t effect me and the way that I think about things in the long run.

If you take one thing from all of my posts, I would want it to be that people take more time and care before judging someone. And most importantly think before you speak, this is something that is taught from a young age in school and is something that should be instilled in our brains but sadly this can not be said for everyone. 

Don’t get me wrong most of the people that I have met and spoken to about my problems have been very understanding but this is after you sit for half an hour and explain everything in detail and I am thankful that I have the opportunity to educate people about all of this as it is not something that is openly talked about normally. 

Anyway I am going to sign off here, I hope you have enjoyed this post. Please go ahead and share it with your friends and let me know what you think! If you want to follow me on social then my user names are listed in my about page. 
Signing off for now
Scarlett x