Invisible illnesses vs online dating 

Hi everyone! 
Hope you are all doing well, this blog is again a little different, I have been encouraged by two lovely ladies (Sarah and Leanne) to write about my experience of online dating before I finally found my lovely boyfriend Ross. 

So a little bit of history, I was with my ex for 2 and a bit years and when I got diagnosed for the first time he just said “oh well you’ll get over it won’t you” as you can tell that did not last much longer than that…So I then sat in the bath the same night we broke up and made my tinder profile. 

Tinder in my opinion is the worst dating app ever, it’s cheesy chat up lines and one night stands (both of which I was not interested in). Now having 3 chronic illnesses that are to do with mobility you sometimes have to use crutches or walking aids, so I decided to write in my profile that I am disabled (to avoid any unwanted surprises).

Now this brought on a whole host of stupid things to say to someone who is disabled…the first one I had was through tinder and was in this exact wording ” How the f**k do you have sex if you’re disabled” I don’t even know where to begin with speaking about this, it was the first time someone had ever said anything like this to me so it’s safe to say I went full on psycho crazy on him….probably not the best way to deal with it in hindsight.

I decided after this that I would try giving plenty of fish a try….turns out thats where I ended up finding Ross but I’ll get onto that later. So I again came across lots of ignorant comments…so the first one I experienced was a guy that had literally just messaged me to say “You’re not disabled…you’re stood up in one of your pictures” cue Scarlett writing out a really long paragraph on invisible illnesses and how you shouldn’t judge someone before you meet/get to know them. 

I ended up getting so many questions about my illnesses due to writing about them in my bio, I also put in there that if they couldn’t deal with being with someone disabled, to not bother wasting time by messaging me at the end of the day I was there to find someone to help me and to support me as much as I needed and just someone to go home to at the end of a long day. 

So anyway back to the stories of dating, the other really stupid thing someone once said to me was “I know what it’s like being disabled I’m ginger and that’s the same thing” I can’t even talk about this cause it makes me so freaking angry. 

So from being on Tinder and POF I went on few dates, one date was after I called him crying my eyes out after a drunken argument at 2am safe to say that went nowhere he probs thought I was a psycho. 
When I stuck to my type I soon learnt that most of them turned out to be complete arseholes (I am not stereotyping all men by the way). Then when I had literally given up hope Ross messaged me, he has long hair and likes roc music, I swore blind I would never date anyone with longer hair than me. 

Turns out he is the most wonderful boyfriend I could have asked for, he helps me in every way that he can he helps me get dressed when i get stuck, I’m not allowed to carry heavy things up the stairs etc.

If I learnt anything from my online dating experience it would definitely be step out of your usual type, the boy you dream up in your head probably doesn’t exist. Always give someone a chance remember learn to get to know someone before you judge them, this is the whole reason I started these blogs is to raise awareness for invisible disabilities it is so important to think before you speak. 

So I’m going to sign off here, I have plenty of dating stories that I can delve into that may amuse you, so if that would interest you then feel free to let me know. I hope you enjoy this one let me know what you think and please share my blogs with your friends 🙂 

Signing off for now 

Scarlett x